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When you’re not tending to your own needs, caregiving can quickly become overwhelming. Here’s how to do both.

Caregiving is, in many cases, a labor of love — but it’s still labor. And it’s the kind you can’t keep up around-the-clock if you’re not taking care of yourself, too.

That’s the dilemma facing an increasing number of adults, whose caregiving responsibilities on top of the demands of their daily lives are leaving them strained physically, emotionally and financially, whether they’re caring for a child with a long-term illness or an aging parent,

Not only did the number of Americans caring for another adult or a child with special needs jump to 53 million in 2020, up by 9.5 million from 2015, but it’s expected to keep growing as the country’s population lives longer and with more chronic illnesses.

While 51 percent of caregivers describe their work as rewarding and say it gives them a sense of purpose, the number who described their own health as very good or excellent dropped to just 41 percent. Even more telling is that about one-fourth of caregivers found it difficult to care for their own health, with a similar number reporting that the added responsibilities caused their health to deteriorate.

The continuous demands of taking care of someone else can strain even the most resilient people. Because they have so much on their plates, caregivers are less likely to prioritize their own preventative healthcare — scheduling regular checkups and getting screened for cancer and other diseases, for example.

Signs and Symptoms of Caregiver Burnout

The toll of neglecting their own health and well-being to care for others may not be obvious until it reaches a crisis level, when caregivers get burned out. When that happens, they often become unable to care for their loved ones or themselves.

Signs to watch out for, according to the National Institute on Aging, include:

• Feeling exhausted or overwhelmed
• Feeling increasingly irritable and easily getting angry or impatient
• Feeling lonely
• Having trouble sleeping
• Experiencing frequent headaches or other pains
• Skipping showers or personal care routines such as brushing teeth
• Abusing alcohol or drugs, including prescription medications

Alzheimer’s Caregiving

Simply watching a loved one struggle with severe illness or a progressively worsening condition such as is hard. Adding in the responsibility for that person’s well-being makes it even tougher, especially when it’s a parent or someone else you’ve viewed as an authority figure.

You may become frustrated that they can no longer do for themselves the things they once taught you how to do, such as dressing, walking or eating — and then you may feel guilty for your frustration. You may crave downtime to take care of yourself, then worry about how your loved one is doing in your absence. These feelings are normal, experts say, and learning to cope with them and take care of yourself will benefit both you and the person you’re caring for in the long term. Planning ahead and establishing routines when you step into a caregiver role is crucial to avoiding burnout later.

Self-Care for Caregivers

Taking time for yourself can make you a better caregiver for your loved ones. It also safeguards . Try the following tips:

• Acknowledge that you have a challenging role. Admitting this doesn’t mean you’re less devoted to your loved one, and it’s a first step in finding solutions.
• Don’t expect perfection. You’re human, and you will make mistakes. Learn to forgive yourself and keep going.
• Accept help from family and friends. They may be able to run errands for you, deliver a meal or pick up medication.
• Get connected. Learn about caregiver resources near you, such as support groups where you can describe your experiences and learn from others in the same situation.
• Don’t try to do it all on your own. Identify services such as transportation, meal delivery or housekeeping for caregivers. Respite care services can give you a much-needed break and may be covered by insurance.
• Make legal and financial plans. In cases of Alzheimer’s disease or other progressive dementias, making decisions early allows your loved one to participate while he or she is still able to do so, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. That can alleviate stress for everyone and head off conflicts later.
• Find out as much as you can about your loved one’s disease. Knowing what to expect can help you determine when a behavior or symptom is normal and when to seek medical help.
• Don’t isolate yourself. Plan outings with family and friends and give yourself time for hobbies and other activities that you enjoy.
• Take care of your health. Keep up with physicals, stay hydrated, make sure to get plenty of sleep and get counseling if you need it.